


Wired Shut inside and out

by Webtrinsic



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: "Selective Mutism", Abuse of italics, Broken Bones, Depression, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Loneliness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Silence, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 20:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16205399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: He knows sometimes he talks too much. He knows it annoys people. What he didn't know was breaking your jaw was the best thing ever when learning not to speak.





	Wired Shut inside and out

Happy rolled his eyes, the teen noticed but tried not to hold to himself in reassurance because the very action made him feel as if a chip in his armor had been torn away. He knew his rambling annoyed most people, he tried to stop, he really did. But his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

“You should have seen it! I totally stopped it, with my bare hands Happy! You know I’ve stopped cars before but this was a semi-truck!” The more he went on he could see from the backseat Happy’s temples throbbing.  If it was in pure agony or concern the teen didn’t know, but seconds later the divider was slowly rising up and he assumed it was the latter. 

“Oh,” Escaped his lips once it was raised and he was alone, “Sorry,”

\---

Propped up on the table near Mr. Starks desk, Peter watched as Tony sorted through papers. The silence awkward for the boy as the continuing flip of paper and scratch of the pen made his nerves jump even higher.

“So Mr. Stark watcha doing?” Peter couldn’t help but ask, but Tony didn’t answer other than turning a page in his packet once again. The teen looked down dejectedly, feet swinging lightly, trying not to bump the table he was on to make even more noise.

Tony was a very busy man, he didn’t need a kid pestering him. That’s the very last thing he needed, setting his feet on the ground Peter made his way to the door. Looking over his shoulder at the man’s set hard and drooped shoulders, Peter frowned as Tony’s hand came up to his head in likely stress.

“Bye Mr. Stark,” He whispered, not wanting to disturb him any further before he went to ask Happy to whisk him home. But the minute he saw him, he thought better. The poor man didn’t want to suffer through his ramblings. It was better to walk home, even if it took him all night.

\---

May’s head shot up from the kitchen table when he came in, “Oh there you are sweetheart, how was your day?”

“It was okay, I got to watch Mr. Stark work. Talked with Happy, on patrol I even stopped a major car crash, you know? But I think Mr. Stark and Happy were getting annoy-” Peter stopped as he noticed May’s eyes and head drooping again.

A tired, “That’s-” she yawned, ”nice sweetie,” Peter smiled kindly even though his heart begged for someone to listen.

“Goodnight May,” Peter whispered, watching as she tiredly pulled herself up from her chair. Plopping a kiss on the crown of his head, before the woman entered the bedroom and shut the door.  Maybe he should go to bed now, at least then he couldn’t bother anyone with what he had to say.

\---

At school, Peter chatted happily with Ned, MJ’s eye roll striking him a way it hadn’t ever before. He let Ned do the rest of the talking.

“Why are you so quiet Parker, I thought you were known for your nonstop talking?” Flash mocked, sitting in front of him and sticking his tongue out. Peter couldn’t answer.

“I think I’m liking the quiet you, it’s quite the character improvement,” Flash continued. The bell ringing just as Peter spoke.

_ “I think you’re right,” _

\---

Peter easily dodged the knife being lunged at him, no quick quip moving to break free from his lips as it usually would. Lip wobbling, Peter webbed him to the wall. Unable to find his voice still.

“You’re quiet today bug boy, not so smug?” The man screamed before Peter shot one last web to cover the man’s mouth before he left.

“He’s right bestie you’ve been pretty quiet, you want to talk?” Karen asked, but Peter chuffed a horrid laugh.

“No,”

\---

Peter looked up at the ceiling in his room, hand gently inspecting his throat, imagining his vocal cords. Willing to snap them as if to never burden another poor souls ears ever again. He didn’t want to irritate anyone ever again.

And when the next day he fought the rhino, jaw breaking by the man’s very hand as he was thrown about. The pain was excruciating, burning, _-good_. It was another punishing force to shut him up for his quip.

“Why don’t you go back to the zoo?”

If he could laugh at his fortune he would, he’d laugh, and he did. He laughed in hysteria until Iron-Man arrived and stopped the man himself. Kneeling beside the teen, the Avenger tried to inspect him.  But Peter continued to roll, laugh, clutch to his throat because if it wasn’t the most ironic thing in the world he didn't know what was. He wanted to stop talking and pushing people away with his words, so the world broke his jaw for him. He couldn’t be happier.

\---

Peter’s eyes blearily opened, his first instinct besides opening his eyes was flexing his jaw. It did nothing, his teeth were stuck together. He was wired shut.

“Hey buddy, glad to see you up. You went so deep into shock you were a little hysteric, you passed out after. Then again he did break your jaw,” Tony explained, Peter nodding without a second thought.

A soft smile igniting his features, prompting Tony to speak, “Well maybe you still are,” Peter simply turned his head away and shut his eyes. Tears threatening to well up, because he knew something was horribly wrong.  He shouldn’t have had to go through all this just to lose his voice for others to be happy, but how could he possibly be happy when he made others so miserable?

“You won’t be chatting my ear off anytime soon,” Tony spoke, trying to lighten the mood.  But Peter continued to smile before he sobbed. The billionaire moving a tad closer for comfort and assured him that everything was okay and that he’ll heal soon. But it only made him cry harder.

He didn’t want to heal and be known as the boy who talked Tony Stark’s ear off. He wanted to be silent, he wanted to be good.

“It’s okay Pete two weeks isn’t very long,”

_ No, it wasn’t. _

\---

In what felt like deja vu, Peter sat perched on Tony’s office table. Tony getting his work done, leaving the boy to sit and work on his own. Peter twiddled his thumbs, no longer uncomfortable in silence.  Little did he know Tony was.

“I’m used to hearing you talk kid,” Tony spoke, looking over at the young boy only for Peter’s wide doe eyes to meet his.  The spider vigilante gave a shrug, Happy knocking and stepping in.

“Your Aunt wanted you home by eight, we better get going,” the teen nodded, waving goodbye to Mr. Stark and following the man out.

“Bye Pete,” the billionaire called after he left. In two days he could finally hear the boy say something, he’d waited long enough. He’d missed the way Peter’s eyes lit up when he talked about his interest, and when the boy easily carried conversations with him he couldn’t have any more with Bruce missing.

\---

Happy didn’t mind the boy’s silence, sure it left him in an awkward silence but personally it wasn’t that awkward. For Peter maybe, but him no. He had enough headaches on Tony’s behalf, the kid only added more. At least now he wouldn’t.

But what was a blessing was also a curse, he knew how he influenced his boss. He knew to Tony, getting to talk and hear about the boy’s day was the sun shining out after a thousand years of rain.  Tony didn’t show his distress to others, especially not to Peter. But over the years Happy did notice when his boss was upset. With Peter silent, the billionaire shook. 

\---

May snuck kisses to his hairline as he came home, a smoothie thrust into his hand.

“In two days you’ll be able to eat my prime rib! I promise not to burn it this time,” she hummed. If he had it his way he’d be eating out of a straw or speechless forever. Peter sipped on the smoothie, wondering how in the world it tasted as if it were burnt.  He loved her though, so he kept drinking. At least when he saw Tony again tomorrow he could still get a better one.

May ushered him to the couch, putting on a film. Peter nearly shuddering at the fact that it was a silent film, the world continued to make his situation ironic. When the movie was over, he inspected his neck again.  Mapping out in his head what it’d take to just cut the damn cords out, but he wasn’t skilled enough for that. He’d just have to break his jaw again. It’s what everyone will want.

\---

“How do you feel now that you can talk?” Tony asked smiling, itching to hear his voice.  The teen shrugged, causing the man to continue on. “Scared your voice will crack?” Tony huffed a laugh, “I won’t make fun of you I promise,”

The teen gave a weak smile shaking his head, it didn’t seem fair to him to have made it this long just to be forced to talk again. He wouldn’t, and when he went on patrol again tonight they’d be wiring him shut again in the morning.  Everyone may seem happy for him now, but they wouldn’t be when any words came sputtering through his lips. He didn’t want that.

“No, I’m being serious. I won’t make fun of you,” Tony promised, placing a soft hand on his shoulder, sighing at his lack of response, Tony then nodded.

“Alright, you can go home and practice talking all you want until you think your voice won't crack. Deal?”

Peter nodded.

\---

Peter cupped his jaw, looking down over the edge of a building where he could see the piping stick out precariously over the side. Karen displaying the angles in front of him, her questioning voice sounding in his ears.

“Hey bestie, not that I don’t think you’re absolutely brilliant and have a plan for everything, but what are you doing?”

As an answer, Peter lept using a web last second to fling him. Karen screeching with his spider-sense in warning, but the momentum kept him going causing his jaw to strike the pipe and break. He wouldn’t have to worry about his voice cracking anytime soon. Again he laughed, waiting for his mentor, Karen repeatedly crawling in and out of his ears.

“Bestie he’s on his way, I’m putting him on the line. Why would you break your jaw again bestie?”  In a way he almost felt she deserved to know, he just really couldn’t tell her. Especially not now.

\---

Wincing as his mouth was forcibly wired shut again, Peter avoided the hard eyes of Tony as they bore through his very skull. Once Helen stepped out leaving the two alone did he start.

“What in the hell was that?”

The vigilante couldn’t bring himself to look up.

“Peter!” Tony shouted, nearly flinching at his own tone as Peter looked up at him. Almost fearfully, and if that didn’t make him want to shove a stake through his heart nothing else ever would again.  Shutting his eyes and taking a second to remind himself he wasn’t Howard; he breathed.

“You want to tell me what’s so great about having your jaw broken? Because if it was good enough to make you want to do it again. I’d really like to know what I’m missing out on,” Tony’s voice was tight, tapered down to sound low and as soothing as he could muster.  The younger vigilante reached for his phone on the bedside table, the words he typed nearly stopped the elder heroes fault.

_ “I thought it’d make everyone else happy,” _

Peter had never seen the man look so distraught and confused. 

“Happy?” Tony asked confused, chest heaving. Practically panting, “You did this to make us happy?”

The boy nodded, not expecting to be enveloped in a hug. Not expecting the man to actually _ever_ hug him. Peter continued to bury his face in the man’s shoulder, unable to move since the hand in his hair was firm.   Maybe it was because he’d begun to cry into the man’s chest that it felt as if Tony’s hands were shaking. 

“Why would you think that?” The question was soft, frightened.  Peter would move to take his phone but Tony was still holding onto him tightly. He couldn’t pull away. Instead he nuzzled further into the embrace.

“Did you think that’d make me happy?” Peter didn’t move, how could he? Only then did Tony move, carefully holding the boy’s face in his hands.

“Pete, did you think that would make me happy?” Peter tried to move his head away but it didn’t work so he nodded, not wanting to lie.  The inventor's heart struggled, breathing uneven and Peter instantly knew something was wrong. Waving to the ceiling to alert Friday, Helen came in with the help of Happy and placed the man on a bed.

“What are we doing?” Happy shouted, Helen, motioning to him to help Peter who in turn was panicking.

“Sedating him so he doesn’t have a  _ heart attack _ ,” those words ricochet through Peter’s head, shaking, no this was _his_ fault. How could he? _No. No. No_. He couldn’t do anything right.

_‘Please no,_ ’ he wanted to beg, but now he knew getting rid of his voice wasn’t enough. He had to go altogether, he didn’t need to worry about burdening other anymore he needed to worry about not driving them away; killing them!

Oh god, what if Tony dies? It will be _ his _ fault, no it _is_ _ his fault.  _ Squeezing his eyes shut and burying his head in his hands, the boy could feel Happy hugging him with a blanket.

“Peter it’s okay,” god he could hear those words but they were far and drowning. The world didn’t go black, it expanded into nothingness.

\---

Peter woke alone in his room in the compound, crying out for Tony yet he couldn’t speak.

_ No god please what had he done? _

\---

He’d continued crying, he wanted Tony. Wanted to apologize even though he couldn’t. Grabbing his blankets, the mattress, his clothes he shoved them into the corner of his closet building a nook.  A toasty tight niche, even his claustrophobia couldn’t stop him from climbing inside. The blankets blocked it out so he didn’t feel as trapped and the closet door remained shut.  When his claustrophobia and PTSD simmered at the cramped quarters he suffered through it. It was the least he could do.

He could almost swear whoever came in, came in again to tell him he needed nutrients but they didn't. He knew they opened the closet door because his sobs were no longer echoing.

“Come here Peter, I know you don’t like small spaces. Don’t hurt yourself like this, come here. Its okay,” He knew that voice, he knew it all too well.

“Underoos, don’t hurt yourself hiding in there. I’m okay, you are too. Just come out for me, I know you’re scared sweetheart, come on,” As much as he wanted to listen to his hero.

_ He couldn’t. _

If he didn’t hurt him enough by almost giving him a heart attack, it had to be worse now. _ He couldn’t.  _

Tony carefully began pulling the layers and layers of blankets away, toppling the mattress over. Freeing him as well as he possibly could, “Come on Pete, let's get you out of the closet. I know it’s still too small for you kiddo, I know that as well as you do,”

The billionaire had been having on and off conversations with May for what seemed like forever, he’d wanted to bring her to get him today but no. Peter wasn’t in any mood to be with anyone. This was all up to him.

“Come here buddy,” Tony called again, gently pulling the boy up and out into the rest of the room. Holding him protectively as Peter sobbed. 

“Here you go buddy, drink this,” The inventor urged, a smoothie being pressed into the boy’s shaking hand. The boy did as asked, sniffling back into his shoulder every now and again.

“I’m okay kiddo, we’re both okay,” He continued, combing the boy’s hair lovingly.

“I took some anxiety medication, so you don’t have to worry. I do still want to know why you think that. Talking with you has gotten me through more things than you know, you’re my kid. You make me happy, and I’m sorry if sometimes it seems as if I’m ignoring you. I shouldn’t be doing that. My work’s not more important than you, those papers aren’t even due until a month by now. I should have been spending my time with you, at least explaining what I was doing. I'm sorry,”

“Please don’t go quiet on me, or May, even your friends. Don’t shut yourself out, someone, any one of us will always be trying to get in. We want to hear what you have to say, want you to be here. Remember that for me, okay?”  The boy nodded, tears continuing to flow. Arms moving to hold onto the hero, pleading to apologize when Tony assured that there was no need.

“I’ll always keep an ear out for you kid, never forget that,”


End file.
